Your Feelings Don’t Matter

I know…it sounds harsh and apathetic. But many years of my life have been dedicated to the mastering of my feelings and emotions.  After years of abuse and neglect, I prided myself on knowing what I was feeling so I could combat, navigate, fortify, and heal my feelings.  And while it was a noble focus, and there is a time and place for “feelings,” I have come to realize that my feelings don’t matter. As it pertains to the grand scheme of life’s destiny steps, feelings do not even play a role. 

Something To Ponder

Let’s think about this for a moment.  Your boss tells you that you are no longer the point person for the project you are currently heading.  WHAT you think about this, matters because it will govern your response.  HOW you respond, matters because it will govern your actions.  How you react, matters because it will have a direct correlation to your position, i.e. job security, respect or disrespect of your boss, etc. 

How you FEEL?  Is Moot!

How you feel doesn’t matter and furthermore, how you feel is not a productive or proficient component in decision making and forward movement. 

We make decisions all day and our feelings essentially are a betrayal of our emotions, thoughts, and actions. 

Emotions are the lower level responses we feel as a result of a stimuli, which creates biochemical reactions in our body that can alter our physical state.  Feelings are the mental associations and reactions to emotions. Our feelings are the “meaning” we assign to our emotions based on personal experiences, trauma, and the “health” of our point of view.  So, from this angle, feelings don’t matter.

The only time your feelings matter are when you have intentionally set out to explore “why” you feel the way you feel.  Then once explored and flushed out, your feelings (inferred meaning) must be processed appropriately. .  This is a worthy and healthy exercise for personal growth and self-awareness.  However, in the interest of life’s big choices and your purpose, your feelings are irrelevant. 

Think About This

You need to workout more to prepare for a race, increase mobility, get off medication, or lose weight.  The emotions behind this goal are countless; self-pride, self-discipline, and/or self-love.  The feelings about getting up and going to the gym could be avoidance, excitement, dread, determination, etc.  Whether positive or negative your feelings do not get you to the gym.  Your emotions, thoughts, and actions do.  Even as you are driving to the gym, your “feelings” are not in control.  So essentially, they do not matter.

HOW you feel about a circumstance doesn’t influence the outcome of that circumstance.  How you feel about a circumstance does not provide you with the energies and resources to change them.  It will be your thoughts, emotions, and actions that predict the results and outcomes.

So how do you feel?  Wait…don’t answer.  Because, it doesn’t matter.

What are you going to do?  How are you going to do it? Why are you doing it?  What is your motivation for it?  Now these are better questions. 

Activating the Power to Thought

Think about a decision that is before you. This decision could undoubtedly affect you, your family, your finances, and your future.  Think about the current state of these circumstances. Now ask yourself if you are allowing your “feelings” to get in the way of your practical decision making skills.  Ask yourself who has command of the wheel.  Your feelings?  If so, you have some work to do. Because your feelings do not belong in the driver’s seat.  It’s up to you, who and what you allow to drive and control your destiny steps.






When it comes to being fruitfully decisive and knowing yourself, I have figured it out through trial and error. So I have created a program to assist people who want to achieve more balance within their emotions, thoughts, actions, and those pesky feelings.

If you are serious about defeating your feelings OR if you are professionally strong and emotionally ineffectual, and are ready to take action, schedule a free 50 minute discovery call with me.




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