I continue to be in awe of the human design that allows us to find our voice, set our boundaries, admit our faults, grant forgiveness, and accept one another sincerely.  In a marriage, the evolution of all of the aforementioned truly lends themselves towards resolution and peace.  Which in turn, allows a couple to see the relationship with a fresh perspective; a perspective that gives them newly exposed paths that were not evident before.  It allows them to learn new tools to implement and gives them room to function in a healthier way within that relationship.  In light of this, two questions I ask a lot of couples are:

What do you like about your spouse?

 And what is life like being married to them?

No matter the couple, be it race, religion, or socio-economic status, each partner is able to rattle off their likes and of course, their dislikes.  While it may be a bit uncomfortable, these answers afford rich material of which to build upon.  However, a question that continues to bring a fun and open couple’s therapy session to a grinding halt is:

What do you think it’s like being married to you?

Allowing our perspectives to shift ever so slightly may yield some interesting discoveries.  It’s only natural to think how we are being affected by our loved ones.  However, there is an honorable balance in the ability to turn our myopic focus towards ourselves.  Taking the bitter with the sweet is a philosophy I greatly respect.  Life is not always cookies and cream.   So the questions we ask ourselves should not be either.  It’s the hard questions that lead to the possibilities of change and a renewed thought.

So take a moment for a 10 item quiz to see what insight your score may provide.

Click here to take the quiz

If your score was 100%–congratulate yourself for functioning in a balanced and mature manner within your relationship.

If your score was 70%-90%–A conversation with your spouse may lend you a better understanding of where you could make some changes in how you relate to your partner.

If your score was 40%-60%–An honest moral inventory may be just the thing that will assist you to function in a more healthier way with your spouse.

If your score was 0%-30%– Your relationship may be in crisis.  And you may benefit from partnering with a clinically trained marriage therapist.

HARD questions + HONEST answers = ACTIONS towards healing and peace